The Road to Valentine’s Day

This is what comes up when I search Valentine’s Day in Google.Screen Shot 2014-02-26 at 2.52.43 PM

Sickening, isn’t it?

So artificial. So cliche. So fake.

I don’t exactly consider myself a “pink” kind of girl. Meaning I’m not into frill and gross heart covered flowers. I don’t understand why society has deemed it necessary to artificially schedule a day into everyone’s lives to celebrate our love for each other. Honestly, I was more a fan of Valentine’s Day before I had boyfriends: when my parents would make me waffles in the morning to show me they loved me. I didn’t need them to do anything on that specific day, but who is going to deny waffles?

I don’t see thought in anything that looks like it came from the check-out isle at 7-11. I don’t need pink objects with pink chocolate and pink cards. If you want to give me a card, that’s fine. But how about you make it yourself? And I don’t need you to stuff it with 30 of your eyelashes. That’s not thought, that’s abuse. The way to really win the way to my heart, or any girl’s heart, really, is through food. And NOT chocolate. That’s for middle schoolers. I’m talking burgers. Ooh and fries with a strawberry milkshake. Now we’re talking. I need my man to understand that he can’t stroll into Albertsons, walk into the Valentine isle and buy something. If you found my present in the Valentine isle, there is a 99% chance I won’t like it.

Here are some reasons why a burger is the perfect present for your valentine (and let’s throw in nachos too because who doesn’t love nachos):


1) It shows that you’re okay if she gets fat

2) It is substantial food that won’t make her sick to her stomach (especially if it’s her time of the month)

3) It shows that you pay enough attention to her that you know she likes her onions grilled, and to hold the pickles

I’m falling in love.



Give her food and take her to a nice place. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just something that she will enjoy. Perhaps the beach at sunset, or ice skating, there are really many options. Just make sure it’s something you know she enjoys and keep it a surprise. Surprises are great.

Almost as great as burgers.


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